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Getting the Relationships You Desire


Recently, I have had a lot of guy and girl friends complain that it’s so difficult to meet “quality” people. For the most part, our lives make sense, but then there is a most peculiar area of our lives – the shit-show that is commonly referred to as our romantic relationships. Here are 5 steps to getting the relationship you desire:

1.     Do You Suffer from a Scarcity Mentality?

Sometimes I feel like we’re playing a game of musical chairs, and I’m going to be the only one who’s left standing when the music stops. Alone – all by myself. But that isn’t the way it works.  It’s not like we’re chasing some elusive endangered species. People are abundant. Men are abundant. Women are abundant. Love is abundant. Relationships are abundant. There is no man or woman shortage, and the right person is out there looking for you, if you are out there looking for them. Nothing good comes when you come from a place of lack, desperation, heaviness or force.

2.     Jerry MacGuire Was Wrong

On the matter of relationships, Dr. Deepak Chopra was asked, “I’m looking for love.  How can I find the right one?  Does he even exist?” Dr. Chopra replied, “Stop looking for the right one.  Be the right one.”

Ding! Ding! Ding! So often, we are in search of someone else who will complete us and make us whole and happy – Thanks a lot Jerry MacGuire! Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if you meet and eventually marry your prince charming or future wife, neither this relationship nor anything else outside of you can make you whole and happy. The sooner you come to terms with this, the more you can live in the moment instead of hinging your fulfillment on some future relationship.

3.     Be The Person You Want to Date

“What am I looking for in a partner?” If you desire to be with a partner who is fun, successful, healthy, funny, committed, loving, nurturing, and has good values, then start to work on yourself first to embody those same qualities or complimentary attributes you are searching for in a partner. Become the person of your dreams. You will have a tendency to attract what you are. If you are negative and needy, for example, you may continually attract painful relationships that will show you the lessons you need to learn to become whole. You will suffer over and over until that lesson is learned.

4.     Romance Yourself

You can never give authentic and unconditional love to someone else until you give it to yourself first. This is your opportunity to grow, expand, learn and explore. If you want someone who is fit, for example, then start living a healthy lifestyle for you, not just to attract someone who is fit. Learn a new subject or language. Travel and meet new friends. Challenge your fears and dive deep into a new hobby that empowers you. Even, romance yourself. Yep, go ahead and make yourself a candlelit dinner with Trevor Hall playing in the background and then take a lavender scented bubble bath. You deserve it! Be kind, loving, and compassionate to yourself. Tell yourself the sweet things you would like to here. Listen and honor yourself. Love life and live it to the fullest. Then you will attract the kind of man who can compliment your life.

5.     Just Be You

If you want a healthy, loving relationship with a partner, first focus on developing a healthy, loving, and happy relationship with yourself.  Do the work and go deep within yourself. Grow yourself and align with your whole and joyful self. When you are in sync with your whole, True Self, you feel confident, are living a fulfilling and joyful life, and can let your authenticity and beauty shine. This radiant energy will attract a man, as well as other relationships, of similar vibration, who will value, adore, and love you. You love life. people will be drawn to your aura because you love yourself, are happy, and carefree. Even if you are single, you have already succeeded!

Join me this Sunday from 4:00-5:00PM at Haute Yoga Palm Beach for our monthly SOULSHINE Sunday class for a guided meditation and discussion on Getting the Relationships You Desire. This is not just about romantic relationships, rather it’s about attracting all of the right relationships into your life and being whole and loving to yourself. 100% donations support Quantum House.

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