Someday when I die, I want my legacy to be that I helped people, like you, quiet your itty-bitty-shitty-committee and courageously become who you want to be. I want to help you live your most fulfilled life and love yourself unconditionally through your journey.
I’m going to guide you through an exercise that was given to me by my friend Scott Feinberg, that blew my socks off and honestly has been super helpful to quiet my inner critic and rewire my brain patterns.
We all have the itty-bitty-shitty-committee, and we’ve probably followed it too often, or at least entertained its stories far more than tuning into our True Self and heart.
When it shows up, we do all sorts of things to muzzle it, ignore it and try to get rid of it. (As Carl Jung taught us):
What you resist persists.
That negative voice of doubt and scarcity gets louder the more you try to silence it.
Imagine if you actually listened to your inner critic during every decision. You never questioned it. You always followed its advice: So, when it said, “You can’t do that” you didn’t. When it said you’re underserving of your dreams, love, respect, or success-you believed it.
Think about all of the ways the inner critic sabotages the very things you desire: “You can’t, you shouldn’t do this, you should’ve done that, you’re too old, you’re too young, you’re not smart, you don’t have the money, the time, resources, or support, you don’t deserve love, you’re unworthy, who are you to think you are, it’s already been done, you’re not enough.”
Envision the end of your life. What would have, or not have been? What are the opportunities you missed because you were fearful of failure? What are the outcomes you didn’t receive because you were afraid of success? What about your relationships? How do you feel? Who are you? What would you regret?
If you followed that voice, every step. What do you have to show for it?
And guess what your inner critic says to you then? “You should’ve taken those risks. You should’ve lived your dreams. You’re not enough.”
This is a mind blowing experiment because it shows us how destructive it can be to our dreams and self-worth, if we listen to our inner critic. We listen to the inner critic far too often. Its undercurrent is fear. The Inner critic is the scardy cat frenemy, who wants to protect you, but is terrified. It’s fearful of failure. It’s fearful of success – what if it goes well, then what? So, it keeps you stuck.
Fear and excitement are different sides of the same coin. Physiologically, when you experience either, your breath may quicken or shorten, your heartbeat gets faster, you may feel queasy or uneasy, your palms may sweat. Physically, they may feel the same, but it’s your perspective and your lens of how you view the experience that differs.
Fear paralyzes you. Excitement creates momentum.
So, what if we did the opposite of what we normally do? Instead of trying to push down and ignore the inner critic, you lean in. You listen to your scared overprotective friend. You hold space for it like it’s a scared child and trying to understand where the fear is coming from. You don’t have to follow its advice, but you listen to it and give your inner critic a big hug.
Fear is your internal GPS guiding you to your biggest dreams and who you want to be.
So, the next time your inner critic starts to shout and be heard, pause, hold space for you listen to its fears. The more you resist, it persists. The inner critic usually makes blanket negative and vague statements, which are super scary and undercut you.
This time though, hold space to understand why your inner critic is so afraid and visualize:
If you didn’t take its advice and pursued your dream, what’s the worst outcome that could happen?
It usually isn’t as bad as we make it in our head. Then, visualize the best outcome – you got everything you desired and dreamed of by pursuing your dream. Much more expansive and inspiring isn’t it!
Then envision, if you actually listened to all of the advice and followed the inner critic how empty and unfulfilled your life would be at the end. What’s the worst that could happen if you followed every fear-based advice? This outcome is much worse than either of the outcomes of following your dreams. And guess what, your inner critic would still be second guessing you, should-ing on you and telling you that you didn’t do enough.
So, why not go for it?
It’s going to take time to rewire your brain and your belief patterns from fear to excitement. You’ve been going down the same path. It’s worn and easy. It’s scary to carve out a new path. It will take work, effort, patience, tenacity, and resilience. You’re going to want to go back to that worn down path of least resistance, even if it’s uncomfortable.
Each time you become aware of your inner critic, be present to your fear, and make a choice to move from courage instead of fear, you lay down a new path to the life you desire and the person you want to become. This is the self-love and worthiness you deserve.
You have all of the answers within you. You are enough and you matter.
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amp;nbsp; When I die I want my legacy and what I’m known for is that I helped people, like you, quiet your itty-bitty-shitty-committee and courageously become who you want to be so you can live your most fulfilled life and love yourself unconditionally through your journey.